26 April 2011

comps mini-journal, day 5.

Day 5: attack of the angst!

I got mad today. I was sitting down to work when I found out that I had to go to campus to sign a form ASAP. Tuesdays have become kind of sacred this semester because they'e been the one day I'm consistently off campus. This incursion into the holiness of Tuesday agitated me-- I went all the way up to Temple and came all the way back and was just. not. feeling it. I didn't even enjoy the bike ride on my big heavy stupid bike the Old Dutch Treat. I went to the coffee shop to try and find some peace and focus, but couldn't muster it. I did some bad writing- 4 pages of it- and then I hit the wall.

I'm pretty sure I made this face at every single person who came into the coffee shop:
Sorry bout that South Philly.

The problem with this exercise is that it lasts two weeks. That's awesome because I might produce something more coherent than if I had a day or a week, as is common for most other programs, but it also sucks because it feels like comps will never end. And that leads to me feeling like this is a dumb use of my two weeks and this doesn't show that I know anything and twitchtwitchtwitch etc.

I am really feeling this song.

Ok, so feeling like that isn't really sustainable. 
I mean this was me yesterday:

And this was me today:

And this is where I need to be:

So I came home and ate some soup and watched Easy A (so good!) and learned how to smile again and now, now I am going to try to finish this essay because 8.5 pages is good, but finished will feel so much better. Perspective! I am having it!

1 comment:

Bunny said...

Little bit of life drama is sometimes o.k. because it helps one to refocus. Keep writing there is an end and what is produced in the end will be incredible because you know it!