This is how I felt this morning. I got maybe 5 hours of sleep last night-- I was strung out on the anxiety that had been alluding me during 2 1/2 months of absolutely confident preparation. I wanted to wake up and find my questions in my mailbox. I tried not thinking about it... I tried riding my bike to school (my dirty chain came off before I left my street)... I tried to stay cool on the train... I worked through scenarios where our secretary (the question-Santa) was sick and couldn't send the questions... I worked through the scenario where my department decided I couldn't take my comps because I haven't taken the language exam yet... I was a little / a lot wound-up.
My questions were in my email box as soon as I got off the train.
They are exactly what I expected.
It is so hard to teach when you desperately want to be working! I made it better by giving myself the treat of teaching Paris is Burning.
I was relieved to come home and work alone in my silent house. I am working out of this excellent Ritter Sport graph notebook that my mom sent me in an antique trunk.
I have 2 strong outlines for my US essays that I feel good about and a working outline for my outside field that I will bulk up as I go. This is not so bad. I think I feel good because I have had so many well wishes from family and friends- they are the best! I feel sustained!
Now off to meet my roommate for drinks because otherwise...
my face will stay stuck like this.