the bunnies were SAVED.

I know this will shock you, but sometimes my work makes me irritable.  I usually prefer to focus my studies on sensible, logical people like Phyllis Schlafly and William Buckley.  This semester I decided to expand my knowledge of New Right social movements with a project on Jerry Falwell's Moral Majority. In spite of my standard, accepted, baseline level of ivory tower NPR liberalism, I pride myself on my ability to be pretty objective, moderate, and restrained.  

Falwell has turned out to be a real test of my mettle because there are times that I really do think he was CRAZY.  He had twelve different narratives for every event, a staff of really obvious ghostwriters, and sometimes appeared to be a total huckster.  He just isn't as lovable as Phyllis and sometimes I've really resented that.

Until I came across this:

I

That Jerry! He cared about bunnies so much he included them in his autobiography! When ever I get annoyed with him over the course of writing 15-20 more pages about him, I'm going to look at this photo. The bunnies have such a neutralizing effect. 

P.S. I can't even mention the word "saved" without thinking of this:

this one goes out to all the grad students.

Wrapping up the semester sucks. Wishing everyone blissful and easy writing.

:19 = every single day of grad school.

counting my blessings.

finals week math.

Today's been a good day on the school front-- turned in a big paper, got a paper back with a very nice compliment, had a productive chat with a lady who cleared up some questions on my thesis.

That

+

Hot Buttered Rum (if you spill it on yourself, you'll smell like Christmas)

+

NYT talks to Julian Zelizer (I read this for pleasure)
+

This:


= a pretty good Wednesday!

it's that time of the year again.

Annotated so you know what you're looking at.

i wonder if bicycle jesus had a hand in this.

Ugh! I feel like today is taking a big dump right on my head. It's cloudy but it won't snow, but it's cold enough to make one's lungs exhausted from riding the bike. The bike elevator is broken down, yay delightful carrying of the ODT down and up three flights of stairs. I wrote down the wrong deadline to one of my schools, so I missed it, which I found out from one of my recommenders incidentally, which filled me with embarrassment and self loathing. My computer continues to gradually manifest its assholeness by growing slower, which probably portends its imminent death. Not to mention I have a billion things to do that aren't getting done because I just feel so tortured by the day.

So I found it almost annoying when I saw this picture. Ugh! I hate it when the positive energy of the universe speaks to me in my own language, right down to the bottle dynamo. I want to be negative, dangit!

Sounds like a challenge to me. I think I'll have a Peppermint Patty and engage in some intensive rewriting.

UPDATE: I went to check the mail and it is spitting snow (yay!) and my Bicycle Jesus shirt arrived. Redemption is nigh, perhaps?

a little more mark kozelek for you.

Link:

It's already clear that it's going to be one of those kinds of weeks. Cranking the soothing music and enjoying some Coca-cola, trying to muddle through.

yes.

Sent to me by a friend, so true...

GRADUATE SCHOOL BARBIE (TM)

Graduate School Barbie comes in two forms: Delusional Master's Barbie (tm) and Ph.D. Masochist Barbie (tm). Every Graduate School Barbie comes with these fun filled features guaranteed to delight and entertain for hours:

- Grad School Barbie comes out of the box with a big grin on her face that turns into a frown after 2 weeks or her first advisor meeting (whichever comes first).

- Adorable black circles under her delightfully bloodshot eyes.

- Comes with two outfits: a grubby pair of blue jeans and 5 year old gap T-shirt, and a floppy pair of gray sweatpants with a matching "Go Screw Yourself" T-shirt.

- Grad School Barbie talks! Just press the button on her left hand and hear her say such upbeat grad school phrases like, "Yes, Professor, It'll be done by tomorrow" "I'd love to write it all over again" and "Why didn't I just get a job, I could have been making $40,000 a year by now if I had just started working with a Bachelor's. But noooooo, Mom and Dad wanted a masters degree, I wish somebody would drop a bomb on the school so that I'd have an excuse
to stop working on my degree that's sucking every last drop of life force out of my withered and degraded excuse for a soul..." (9 V lithium batteries sold separately)

-Grad School Barbie is anatomically correct to teach kids about the exciting changes that come with pursuing a higher education. Removable panels on Barbie's head and torso allow you to watch as her cerebellum fries to a crispy brown, her heart race 150 beats per minute, and her stomach lining gradually dissolve into nothing.

Deluxe Barbie comes with specially designed eye ducts. Just add a little water, and watch Grad School Barbie burst into tears at random intervals. Fun for the whole family!

Other accessories include:

-Grad School Barbie's Fun Fridge (tm) Well stocked with microwave popcorn, Coca-Cola, Healthy Choice Bologna (99% fat free!),and small bottle of Mattel Brand Rum (tm).

-Grad School Barbie's Medicine Cabinet. Comes in Fabulous pink and contains Barbie sized bottles of Advil, St. Johns Wort, Zantac, and your choice of three fun anti-anxiety drugs! (Barbie Medicine Cabinet not available without a prescription)

-Grad School Barbie's Computer Workstation. Comes with miniature obsolete PC (pink of course), rickety desk, and over a dozen miniature Mountain Dew cans to decorate your workstation with (Mountain Dew deposit not included in price, tech support sold separately)

And Grad School Barbie is not alone! Order now and you'll get two of Barbie's great friends!

GRADUATE ADVISOR KEN: Barbie's mentor and advisor in her quest for increased education and decreased self esteem. Grad Advisor Ken (tm) comes with a supply of red pens and a permanent frown. Press the button to hear Grad Advisor Ken deliver such wisdom to Barbie as
"I need an update on your progress" "I don't think you'll be ready to graduate yet" and "This is no where near ready for publication."

Buy 3 or more dolls, and you can have Barbie's Thesis Committee! (Palm Pilot and tenure sold separately.)

REAL JOB SKIPPER: When Barbie needs to talk, she knows that she can always count on her good friend Real Job Skipper (tm), who got a job after getting her bachelor degree. Press the button to hear Real Job Skipper say, "Sometimes I wish I went for my masters degree" and "Work is so hard! I had to work a half an hour of overtime!" Real Job Skipper's Work Wardrobe and Savings account sold separately. WARNING: Do not place Grad Student Barbie and Real Job Skipper too close to each other, as there have been several mysterious cases of children leaving the room and coming back to find Barbie's hands mysteriously fused to Skipper's throat.

copywriting for the weary.

Do you like running inconclusive errands?

Do you hate sleeping at night?

Do you enjoy the feeling of not being able to register for classes and knowing that your financial aid has yet to be disbursed?

Have you longed for the ethereal feeling of reading a ten page syllabus typed in ten point font?

Do you crave the rush of spending hundreds of dollars on paperback books when all you have in your fridge is stale birthday cake, carrots and condiments?

Are you an eager ideologue looking to have your dreams crushed?

Then grad school might be right for you!

(okay, so it hasn't been that bad... well it has but the craziness has been tempered by a couple of dinner dates with friends, free bagels at work and some very gracious, wonderful coworkers and peers, all of whom deserve gold stars)

my name is not susan. or fat tire. or skinny dip.

So today I felt a little crappy. That happens, you know, when you live in a state differing from that of your favorite people and you wake up realizing that a day like this should be spent at a barbecue with those people. So naturally, in a moment of woe, I took all my recyclables to the recycling center and what do I see on top of the recycling bin but a Fat Tire. And I was like, "That is it! that is exactly what I would have at that barbecue!!!"
So I drove to Wyoming. It was lovely.

Here's what I got:
Here's how it looked:

(new glasses! forthcoming post!!!)

And this is the result:

(And just for the record, I have not been this blonde and tan since 1991.)
(dork!!!)

we had that couch for twenty years. shoulda left the plastic on it.

I am in a "fuck this shit" kind of mood. I think I will drop out of school and become a wino. As of tomorrow you will be able to find me in Pioneer Park. :P j/k it hasn't come to that but it feels like it has. But it hasn't.

Powerful conservative lady is playing hard to get. Our interview on Thursday is now dependent ON THE WEATHER on Wednesday. Pray for sun on Wednesday people. Seriously I hardly pray anymore but I'm going to.****

The people at financial aid are UNHELPFUL DOUCHEBAGS. Pray for their souls because I damned them all to hell on the bike ride home. No, I am not praying for them. I am focusing all of my prayer on Wednesday's weather.

My research isn't yielding shit. I swear someday when I'm on my third book and tenured I will be wondering why I was so fussy, but for goodness sakes I am starting to feel like I don't know what I'm doing.

Kudos to two people who made this day suck much, much less:
1. Friend who texted me for an impromptu lunch-- you are awesome and I glad we got to hang before things hit the fan.

2. Nice, nice girl at the RivalSchool's Special Collections who went out of her way to help me out and was so, so friendly. I should be passing the Zion Curtain for research on Wednesday and perhaps a couple other days later in the week and would be happy to meet anyone in the God-forsaken city of Provo for a delectable milkshake at Sammy's. For those not in P-town, I would gladly meet you for drinks, food etc. in the People's Republic of Salt Lake because no doubt I will have to assuage my guilt over my research induced, rapidly enlarging carbon footprint.

Excuse me while I go drink the rest of the bottle I've opened* and watch Amadeus because all my Netflix movies are in the mail and I heard Cynthia Nixon is in it (she said so on this reeeally funny British show I was watching). I own it (both the bottle, contents of said bottle-- I am not a thief!-- and the movie, duh).

Also, I am feeling better now that I bought The Darjeeling Limited soundtrack off of iTunes. I will burn copies for anybody that wants one because it is magical, particularly the Kinks selections, but also the other ones are relaxing and chill, in the true fashion expected of a Wes Anderson soundtrack. Speaking of Wes Anderson-- I emailed this link to Big Brother already because he deserves to be first because he went as Richie for Halloween-- Royal Tenenbaums inspired art** and I think that's just awesome. I want one and I want to buy my brother one because he is awesome too.



*Columbia Winery 2006 Cellarmaster's Riesling... Soooo tasty... "offers fragrant honey, pear and apricot aromas that lead to delectable fruit flavors and crisp acidity" and offer relief from a case of the Mondays. I don't usually drink the whole bottle at once but this is sooooo nice. Also, I love to go to the wine store and buy Washington wines and flash my Washington driver's license. State pride you know? Is that cheesy?

**Click "shop" then "figures".

****and that has nothing to do with God, ok? He and I are down, and so are me and Jesus. Jesus is my homeboy. I've just never really been much of a pray-er. Some how this all reminds me of Snoop Dog and folks, I love Snoop Dog too.***** Not as much as God tho.

*****"Snoop Doggy Dogg, get yourself a jobby job."

That has resonated with me for years.

fierce.

This is how I feel right now. Can I please be done?

Picture from here.