12 May 2011

comps mini-journal, the poetry of oral exams.


humble one(gifted with 

illimitable joy) 
bird sings love's every truth 

beyond all since and why 

asking no favor but 

(while down come blundering 
proud hugenesses of hate 

sometimes called world)to sing

Yesterday as I waited to start my oral exams, I cracked open the complete volume of e.e. cummings on my desk for a bit of peace and perspective. I came across this poem. It was resonant in the moment-- humility after months of overconfident preparation-- what a concept! 

Yet during my exams-- a messy and unpleasant event in which yours truly, ever capable, totally choked-- I thought about what it means to be 'humble one bird.' As I waited for my committee to reveal my fate, I felt a raw yearning- it hit me, how badly I really want to do this. I sat for close to forty minutes as my heart was laid low, 'asking no favor but to sing.' 

You can imagined my relief that I passed my exams.
But that moment of encountering poetry deepened my gratitude.

I watched these trees behind my house get cut down yesterday morning before I left for my exams. It made me sad that they were getting cut down when they had just come into bloom. The lot is nearly cleared and the house is nearly erased.

1 comment:

Bunny said...

Sad they took the trees down, they are sure pretty with the blooms and nice shade. Shortly it will look like it was never there. On the flip, so happy the the comps are completed. Another milestone done. So proud of you!