13 January 2010

bicycling only sucks when it reminds me of having a car.

I love being car free and all that, I really do, but there are some days when biking / bike ownership is just a pain in the ass. LIKE TODAY.  Whew, excuse me, caps lock got away from me.

It started before I even got out the door.  It was a grocery getting run, ideal for the Old Dutch, and to prepare for the ride I actually put on some makeup and tried to you know, rise to the aestethic demands of riding such a fine looking bike.  And then I went to pump up the poor neglected tires because the folding bike's been getting so much love lately.

Well, let's be real about this. I don't enjoy any kind of bike maintenance accept for accessory acquisition, which doesn't count for shit, and periodically my evil, socialist Woods valves get into it with my decidedly American pump made for decidedly American valves.  Now before this devolves into an entire post on how Woods valves are an enemy to democracy and I should've swapped out my tubes a million years ago, I'm going to sum up my feelings in a haiku.  Here it goes:

Woods valves. 

That's the best I could do.  At any rate, I beat the shit out of myself getting the bike down the stairs (this is not unusual) and spent an overlong time fussing around with my pannier and then finally, FINALLY, I am on the road.  And I'm just too amped up to enjoy the ride because my Big Unwieldy Bastard of a bike has been this ungrateful arbiter of torment (I like my bikes like I like my men?), and then the road and Trader Joe's were both full of idiots (this is not unusual), and I'm all amped up, and ya know, by the time I made it through the checkout a second time, and almost got hit by someone not observing a stop sign, and realized that the handle of my bell somehow got busted off, I was just like Really?  This is a better way to travel?

Woods valves.

I know that's not actually a haiku, but it makes me feel so much better.

how the eff do I fix this?

I was going to end on a moralizing note- like "but it's still better than driving a car" but I think I'm going to leave it.  Because I'd really prefer to moralize about how you know, there are good days biking and days that suck, and maybe that's just part of getting around and being alive, etc. etc.

What?  You still want a happy ending?  FINE.  I found my favorite treat ever at the store- STROOPWAFFELS!- and because I got on that damn bike I GET TO EAT THE WHOLE BAG.


Mama-san said...

I love your passion on this subject, and greatfull that the happy ending included a tasty dutch treat! What a great post!!!!

Steven said...

at least it was during the day
power's out on 21st, might be out on 22nd as well, between tj and parkway

Matt in Tacoma said...

C'mon, I've been hassling you to swap out those tubes since you bought that bike. Do you even know how to change a tire? That better not be my fault... :)

If you can wait a bit, I have a big noisy shiny bell that I can send which would look nice on your ODT.

Also, I like how she used to be Queen Mum and now she's Mama-san. Very cheeky!

Breen said...

This is the perfect post to read on a Friday afternoon! I suppose we all just gotta love those days when our bike actually fights back. Thank you for the impromptu belly laugh :)