It's like you see me making a white sauce, but really I have this complicated inner life.
I recognize that I'm not the only person on the planet to feel this, and I recognize I'm probably not the only person in this house who feels it either. Which is why I'm so especially grateful that my some special folks rallied our pack of strays this evening. Fragments of an extended family, we boast a large percentage of single people. We lack a clear leader- there are no matriarchs or patriarchs here, just a contingent of several generations willing to go where they are called. Suddenly planned, the food was simple, the giving was directed primarily towards the children, and the evening involved the installation of a car radiator. This was not some ungainly production, but an effort of basic pragmatism:
We would all celebrate Christmas elsewhere, but tonight, we needed to celebrate our Christmas. We gathered from the far-flung corners of Seattle, rural Pierce County, Tacoma, and Philadelphia to be together. And perhaps, because of the nature of the season, we were able to see in each other qualities we'd missed or thought too long dormant. It was an awakening moment for me.
It is easy to see the holidays for what they aren't, for what ones' life isn't. It is a default, for some, to feel lost and aloof amidst endless hams and cookie platters. It is not difficult to focus on those feelings, it just happens. And that is why it is so blissful when that moment of grace presents itself and you can't feel anything better than the love and caring that comes from being a part of a family. We say we're coming together for the holidays, but really, we're coming together for each other. It is good to be reminded that we are no longer strangers and together we are no longer strays.
God bless us, every one.