confronting the hard parts.

I like what I do. It's a privilege to tell the stories of others. I've enjoyed meeting the people I study. I love going to conferences, I love going to class, I love the feeling the feeling of opening up a box and not knowing what I'm going to find. The challenges of interpreting the past engage me deeply. I have made a lot of sacrifices because being a historian is so satisfying and rewarding that I want to do it for my whole life, and I want desperately to learn how to do it well.

I love to study New Right conservatives. I admire their passion and temerity. Their rhetoric and writing captivates me. Making sense of a time in which my parents came of age and the moment I was born into has great appeal for me. I have come along way since I started studying these people, and I really, genuinely appreciate what they have to say and how they challenge my worldview.

I say all this because today I had to confront the aspect of my topic I hate the most. It's impossible to write about the New Right without talking about abortion.  For many social conservatives, it's the reason they mobilized, the one thing in the world that they would give anything to change.

I hate reading about it. I hate talking about it. I would do anything to avoid it all together.

The descriptions in pro-life literature, while well-intentioned, are often grizzly and grotesque. They depict excessive and unusual procedures, and overemphasize poorly handled situations.  I concede that it is purposeful and deliberate language. But I think that by and large pro-life accounts are as decadent as the behaviors they are intended to critique.

It has little to do with the fact that I'm pro-choice. I believe that women should have  access to safe medical procedures should they elect to do so. I stand with Linda Gordon in acknowledging that women have made this choice throughout history regardless of its legality, and with Barack Obama who feels that unwanted pregnancies should be prevented through affordable birth control and comprehensive sex education. Like Ruth Bader Ginsburg, I believe that it is not a question of either / or. But my politics seldom enter the picture. I am guided by professional ethics and exercise a level of restraint that others have called judicious and even admirable. What I write is not about me. I am not trying to change anybody's mind, nor am I open to my mind being changed.

I just don't like reading about blood and tissue. Needles, suction, disposal, no thank you. I think it's a terrible way to spend the day. It makes me miserable. I don't find it enjoyable to try to understand what's going on in the text; I find it so abhorrent that I struggle to get motivated when I have to address the issue. It's impossible to focus on, requiring breaks, endless coffee, snacks, checking of blogs, email, twitter, and anything that might offer relief from the task.  If someone called and said, "Hey, would you like to come clean my toilet?" I would probably opt for that.  My work ends with descent into exhaustion and then unsatisfying naps. I wind up feeling drained and find it near impossible to shake off the dirty feeling I get from reading this rubbish. To use a turn of phrase from my Mormon days, it offends my spirit.

I love what I do. I love what I study. I wouldn't change my path even if I could. 

But what do we do with the parts of our jobs- our vocations- that we hate? 

if mrs. obama wants to exercise, i want to exercise too.

Michelle Obama and Muppets? Yesssss!

a minimalist, a structuralist, and a pragmatist, oh my.

For once, I think Maureen Dowd was spot on with her article "When Character Corrodes" about the tragicomedy of Republicans' sudden call for checks and balances. The article alludes to this bit about how Obama's experience with constitutional law will impact how he selects a Supreme Court justice. I am absolutely thrilled about Obama getting the chance to choose-- I don't think any president in recent history has been as well equipped to make such a nomination.

Recalling the horrified way my Constitutional Law professor in my undergrad reacted to Alito's confirmation (which occurred during the course of the class), I like to imagine she is somewhere in Ballard doing a little jig. Exciting stuff, for sure.

Bonus: An informational first-hand account about what it's like to live in the Dutch welfare state. My inner libertarian is quieted as the socialist on the other shoulder tells me how fantastic this is.

briefly.

I found this article fascinating-- studies have found that only 20% of Americans identify as liberal but yet Obama has a 70% approval rating. I loved that the #1 word people chose to identify him with was "intelligent." It's interesting that doing the job well bridges the gaps between political philosophies. That's change I can believe in! (as opposed to change that other people can't believe in... my nerdy little self went ga-ga over the linked video and website-- I must study these people)

Also in conservatism... Princeton's Julian Zelizer is writing for my beloved moderately conservative news site The Daily Beast. I may or may not have almost peed my pants over this. What can I say, I love the idea of making smart people political commentators (what a concept!). Step aside, Meghan McCain! (she is driving me nuts lately... she clearly has no idea wtf she's talking about when she can't even differentiate between conservatives and Republicans... oy)

click on the link and ask yourself if you can really handle this kind of shit before 10am.

The Barack Obama Action figure, with interchangeable heads and hands.

Really.

heroic women, part two.

This image was a highlight of my day. I think because The Queen looks so teeny and cute next to the statuesque Obamas. It also makes me think of the coronation mugs I inherited from my great-great-aunt that have pretty dainty gold handles and a picture of the hopeful young Queen (I can't wait to be reunited with all of my stuff!), and the chapter on the coronation in my favorite book, Behind the Scenes at the Museum, and Helen Mirren in The Queen looking at the stag...what can I say? I like her constant symbolic power, the way she simultaneously embodies post-war progress and centuries and centuries of tradition.

You can see a slideshow of The Queen with all the presidents here. That it goes backwards kind of makes me want to throw up.

a pretty fruitful day on the interwebs.

I found this image on the design blog Oh Joy!. It comes via a brand of clothing called Makool. I love the picture-- it just says Spring riding to me. Of course, it snowed here again today but with all the teasing sunny days we've had lately, I'm glad it's getting close.

Also, let's talk about the shirt from that image. Wow.

Just looking at its beautiful structure and amazing details makes me appreciate fashion so much more than I did five minutes ago. Its $176.00 price tag, however, reminds me that I have limits. Limits are free.

Also bike-y: the blog "What I Saw Riding My Bike Around Today." Very cool concept.

Here's an article from Smithsonian magazine featuring cool Special Collections, featuring my own beloved University Library.

I enjoyed this sneak peak of a ranch home from Design Sponge today. I love the "wood everywhere" look complimented by oodles of cacti and lots of daylight. I am tormented by my lust for a mid-century house done up right. In five years?

Let's not talk about how many images I've set aside for design inspiration lately. The prospect of a new apartment this summer is too exciting.

A neat public art project. Aw, it's fun to be human.

I love that Barack spends his days doing stuff like this and this even if it is kind of sad that he has to put so much effort into undoing Bush-era oversteps.

And to completely overwhelm you, as a public service I have to post this song. I downloaded Sun Kil Moon's album April yesterday (as well as Mark Kozelek's What's Next to the Moon) (indulgent I know, but the cost per listen in the long term is really low...and what can I say? it's always Mark Kozelek week around here) and the first track is one of the best songs I've heard in a long time. I love how it just goes on forever. Absolutely sublime and a little heartbreaking. I haven't really listened to the rest of the album because I am so stuck on this song. It definitely makes my Top 4 long songs of all time, right next to Stairway to Heaven, Only in Dreams, and Layla-- particularly when I heard the latter two songs live, respectively. This one is best when you can comprehend the lyrics-- a beautiful song about being a ghost.

heroic women, part one.

Seeing this picture today inspired me to do a post about how awesome Michelle Obama is-- and then I realized that International Women's Day is on Sunday and really, that requires a commemorative series of blog posts because I don't think we can ever do enough to build each other up and honor each other for what we do. So the first woman I'm saluting in my "heroic women" series is Michelle Obama because she is First Lady.

WASHINGTON - MARCH 05: U.S. first lady Michelle Obama serves lunch at Miriam's Kitchen which provides meals, case management services and housing support to nearly 250 homeless men and women March 5, 2009 in Washington, D.C. The visit was a part of the first lady's effort to connect with the Washington, D.C. community and also highlight the city's best practices. (Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)

Michelle Obama is a woman who commands respect. Sure she is gracious and lovely and fit-- but I love that when I see her I am reminded that she is a successful, educated woman who, in front of the whole country, juggles being a wife and mother alongside her job as First Lady. If we couldn't get a female president this time around, I feel like Michelle Obama is everything one could ask for when it comes to promoting powerful womanhood in the Executive branch. I love how Oprah described her in Vogue, "Michelle Obama is a full-blown, grown-up woman. An authentically empowered real woman who looks and feels like a modern woman in the twenty-first century, allowing us to see the best of ourselves in her." Amen Oprah!

buy your own damn fries.

Quite possibly one of the best things I've ever linked to. Selections of "Dreams of My Father" read aloud by author Barack Obama. As a potty mouthed person, such choice words from the now President of the United States are music to my ears.

I've listened to this one like ten times already.

my mom sent me this. it makes me want to watch conair with her.

this is news to me.

LEFT HANDED. Who knew The Barack was just a pawn in our diabolical southpawed plot for world domination?

three nice things.

1. Goofy-- Kermit the Frog vs. Christian Bale

2. Happy-- The Utes Marching Band got accommodations and marched in the Inaugural Parade.

Pride of Utah indeed!

3. Affirming-- President Obama's statement commemorating the 36th anniversary of Roe v. Wade.

dawn of a new era.

Greetings from Off The Radar, a magical place where one navigates the University Healthcare system, dabbles in prescription narcotics and makes phone calls to ask "should my face be swollen?" Pumped full of pain meds I am feeling much better, if only the meds wouldn't make me so tired, but I think I am back on track to Rejoining Daily Life. I do think it's fun to get to talk to my family every day though, I will miss that.

Here's a nice post from Dooce today. I sure do like her writing, and this little bit gave me the warm fuzzies. I should be specific, non-narcotic warm fuzzies. Narcotic warm fuzzies put me to sleep.

Getting a new President wasn't completely lost on me yesterday, and the feelings I have about it probably deserve their own post, but really I'm playing the "I'm on drugs" card and am considering just posting this link to the How Completely Adorable Are Sasha and Malia Slideshow. Because really, all I could think yesterday was "Does J. Crew make those pink coats in grown-up sizes?" Sasha Obama is my style icon.

Though really, the parents are a class act:


And now that this is turning into an Obamalove post, here were some of my favorite snippets from yesterday:

"We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness."

"The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works."

And pretty much the entire benediction given by Joseph Lowery, a co-founder of SCLC.

I think this image pretty much says it all.

getting excited for inauguration day.

One of the highlights of my yesterday-- in addition to getting a few pages hammered out (2,000 more words to go) and baking the best brownies of my life (and getting a visit from a Provo friend who loves brownies too!)-- was catching the last part of the Lincoln Memorial concert for Obama. I hope they'll put the whole concert online in better quality, but for now, I'll post my favorite part: Garth Brooks. Really heartwarming, I love America type stuff.



UPDATE: They will be live streaming it on HBO.com again today at 1pm and 11:30pm! Cool!

now that's change i can believe in.

a picture post, because i am fast losing my ability to write.

Badass.
Portrait of the Barack as a Young Man. Also badass.*

Bike badassness.

Bwhahahahaha! That is not badass at all! Poor guy.

Oh snap! I thought I was clicking on a preview and it's really the whole episode of the new Flight of the Conchords! Go Wednesday!

*COTGB sez: smoking is bad, kidz! Also, if you are the world's best swimmer and somebody tells you to wear clothes in a picture, you just tell them that this aggression will not stand!!

the beginning of the i'm grateful fors.

This is the most heartwarming story. Especially because it includes heartwarming pictures of little children trying to get a piece of the President-Elect. Isn't this the kind of guy you want at the helm? I'm grateful for Barack.

weekly barack.

I'm excited that President-Elect Obama has decided to post weekly internet addresses. I think that they will really help to bridge the disconnect between the people and the government that contributed to the extensive abuses of executive power and the sense of political powerlessness citizens felt during the previous administration. His confidence that sacrifice and unity will help to solve our problems is profound and inspiring.

matchy matchy.

Twinsies!

your last regular barack a day.

So it took me a day to recover from my one woman celebration of the most satisfying electoral victory I've ever been apart of, but I think Michaele provided a nice way to wrap up the "Barack a day" feature with this great gallery of pictures from President-Elect Obama's campaign. This one was my favorite, I think because having children living in the White House provides a poignant symbol to remind people of the hope and the possibilities that this presidency has to offer. And I think those girls are cutie-pa-tooties.

It has been really nice to talk to people around campus who voted for McCain and have acknowledged that no matter the outcome, democracy has done its job and the people have spoken, and they'll support Obama. I think that people can get past the loss and see that we all have to move forward and solve the problems our country is facing really shows that regardless of who is at the helm, we all have to rise to meet the time that we live in. It's nice to feel unity again.